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My journey started with using drugs and living the life of a drug dealer. I began doing speed at a very early age. I thought it was just recreational, but it became more of a lifestyle than something I just wanted to do. I didn’t know that it stemmed from trying to cover up my feelings and things that happened to me that I didn’t want to deal with.
I went to jail several times. It never bothered me going to jail because I knew I would only be there a minute, and that when I got out, I could go back to selling and using drugs. I had no desire to ever stop using. My mind was basically made up. I thought I was going to die a dope fiend. That was my legacy: “Oh, he’s a drug dealer. Oh, he was a dope fiend.”
After a few more trips to the jailhouse, I got a wake up call when my house got raided one last time. I got released from jail after a week with all charges dropped, but I needed to come to the courthouse. My probation officer recommended revoking my probation, which meant my probation could be spent in the penitentiary for 16 months to three years. The judge, however, said it didn’t seem like I was a bad person; it looked like I had a drug problem. He said my record had nothing but drug problems, I wasn’t doing anything to hurt anyone else, just myself. He recommended a year in the county jail, which I could spend in a drug program.
The judge left me on my own recognizance to return in a week for sentencing. So I went back to the streets and did drugs that whole week. That morning I turned myself in. I was moved to the F-pod, which is a recovery dorm. It’s actually called Roads to Recovery.
One morning they came in and called for GED testing. I took a test and didn’t pass. I decided, okay, I am going to keep at this and go to school. Then Clayton Smith—who runs the Education Dept. at the jail at 425 7th Street—came in talking to other inmates. I asked him how could I go about getting a tutor. He said he would look into it. For the next two or three weeks, every time I saw him I’d say, “Hey what’s up with the tutor?”
One afternoon after dinner Clayton Smith came into the pod with a gentleman who introduced himself as Mark Day from Project Read. He was going to be my tutor. My eyes and my heart lit up like a light bulb. I was just so ecstatic and happy that Clayton Smith made this happen for me and that Mark Day was willing to come into the jailhouse and reach out and help me.
We met on Tuesdays. The first day we talked and got to know each other. Mark was the type of tutor who wanted to know what were my interests. I told him that ever since I had gotten clean from drugs that I wanted to be a fashion designer. He would spend his own money and would bring me new fashion magazines. We would read articles and he would teach me new words. He wanted to find out how much I knew, where I was going, and what I wanted to do with my life.
We started out doing math. He was trying to teach me fractions. Mind you, I was still a drug addict and I was not too honest at that moment, so it was difficult to open up and say, 'Oh, I can’t multiply,' while he was trying to teach me fractions. So every night after dinner, I would have a few other inmates help me learn multiplication, so when Mark came, I could do the fractions.
Mark came every week and we worked together. I improved and became more self-confident. My self-esteem had risen and I was able to open up and tell him that, in the beginning, I couldn’t tell him that I couldn’t multiply. But that when I saw that he really cared about me as a person, I was able to say, “Hey, this is what’s going on with me,” and that every time after he left I had someone else practice with me.
County parole sent me a letter saying I was getting ready to get transferred to a drug program. I told Mark. He said, “Well, that’s okay. You go to a program get settled in. When you get there, you call me and we’ll set up a schedule for me to come tutor you there.” That was so cool, so I got to the program and called him, and he came and tutored me there at the program.
Mark played such an amazing part in my newfound life. He put me on the road to the journey I’m still on and made me believe in myself. Because of that, I am still connected to Project Read. I had another wonderful tutor, Laurie Levine, who always told me I could. And I know I can because of her and Mark and now another Project Read tutor, Richard Golden.
I am truly blessed. I have amazing people working in my life. I have the staff at Project Read and also the teachers at the Adult Learning and Tutorial Center. I'm on a mission right now to get my GED and I will.
I have been clean for 4 years now. Even though I had to start over with the GED because they changed the test in January, they can’t take from me what I already know, so I am going to continue on my journey, and there is payoff at the end.
In closing I‘d like to say it is not your history or your environment, it is the quality of your mind that determines your future.
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