Faith is first of all an intellectual assent. It perfects the mind, it does not destroy it. It puts the intellect in possession of Truth which reason cannot grasp by itself. It gives us certitude concerning God as He is in Himself; faith is the way to a vital contact with a God Who is alive, and not to the view of an abstract First Principle work out by syllogisms from the evidence of created things.*
     Dr. Einstein said, “It looks suspicious, but keep the faith.” There is a mixed message in that sentence. The fact that it looks suspicious is enough to take you down emotionally because it looks like there is a health problem. And the doctor is also telling me to “keep the faith.” How can I keep what I may not have? And whom must I have faith in?
     For many years I have suggested to others facing a crisis in their life to keep the faith. But now that I have to exercise it myself, I must admit it requires more than words—even more than faith itself.
     Dr. Einstein told me that I had prostate cancer.
     My fear began to escalate at the thought of cancer. My grandmother died with cancer. My mother also died of cancer. There the word “cancer” meant a death sentence. My fear was that I was unprepared to die because of my emptiness as a person. My emptiness was very real because I doubted the faith that I thought I had. But my doubts also lead me back to my faith. The problem that I was having with keeping my faith was that I was expecting faith to give complete satisfaction to my intellect.
     Faith puts the intellect in possession of a truth which reason cannot grasp by itself. For me faith does not frustrate the intellect, or deny it, or destroy it. Faith is not something “out there”—it is within. It is not just an emotion. It is not a feeling. It is not a blind subconscious urge toward something vaguely supernatural.
The problem that I was having with keeping my faith was a lack of understanding of my condition, and wondering if it was treatable. After I processed the information that the doctor gave me I was able to use my faith.
     Faith is a process, and a trust in God. The act of faith is an act in which my intellect is content to know God by loving Him and accepting His will for my life. Above all, faith is the opening of an inward eye, the eye of the heart, to be filled with the presence of Divine Light.
     Ultimately faith is the only key to the universe. It is the final meaning of human existence, and the answers to the questions on which the happiness of each of us depends cannot be reached in another way.

*quote from: Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation, © 1961 Abbey of Gethsemani, Inc. New Directions Books, page 127